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"God Beats Me"


I study the matronly concerned brow before me,
holding my chin with her forefinger
Gasping my breaths
They do not come easily
Huddled mess of rags on the floor
I am in disbelief
"He....he..."
"no."
Stunned out of my desire to express
I tilt my head quizically
The look I see on this warm and round face
All too familiar
Those eyes trying to reach a side of sense in me
Piercing
heat-seeking
Telling me to accept a better version of truth
Maybe for my own sake
I resent it even more
Everyone needs to know
I am the dutied martyr
She clenched her jaw to enforce her reserve
determined
but so am I, now
Heat threatens to break through my eyes
I almost grunt
I stand up shakily,
Ease up my dress
"Look" I say with a quiet passion
"Look!" I start to crack
She turns her head away,
Trying to betray no emotion
She takes a cleansing breath and says,
"I will draw a bath, you will do better for being clean"
I am still standing there exposed when she walks away.







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