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"My friend and her perishable gift"


And we were only just standing there
One day in the street, with wetness so slick
My friend
I called her that because of the time we spent together
She spoke so much
Of men and media, the news, but nothing real
She never saw
I was her friend
She called me that because I listened to her
I think back now, she must have appreciated that
It was I gift I could give her
I did
But we were only just standing there
And she was talking then
So expressive
Her trimmed eyebrows curving at all the right times
She was aware of what people saw of her conversations
They were only hers though
She gave me a gift that day
She gave it all back
My reward was to be kissed awake
And it was not ugly
I saw the man coming
I was accustomed to being the quiet party
I said nothing while she spoke on
I still cannot remember what she was saying
One minute
It was too fast
and she felt a stab, I saw her feel it
I said nothing still
A knife in the back
That was her end
I think it was for me
She fell forward into me, she slid in the rain
Her cigarette singed my hair only a moment
I said nothing
The man had run off, he was far gone
My arms held her, I could not feel very much
I thought, in a moment, I would be holding a body
The rain never ceased, but it was starkly silent
I remember hearing the blood
A drop on her galoshes, or they were mine
She was pathetic, but moreso was I
Waiting for the crescendo
waiting for a palpable symphony at her moment of passing
it never came
Maybe it happened while I looked about myself
I never really liked her
It was unfair, she died in the arms of me
maybe it mattered
I was so cold, and it did not matter for her
She would never acknowledge her truth
and now she would never feel again
Maybe I started then
I woke up
That was her gift to me
from her
I did not need to thank her